narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via grichmob)


mild-bloom:

i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism

(via curlymcgee)


(via hi)


aquaxolotl:

*puts metaphor in my mouth* its a cigarette

(via defekait)


(via curlymcgee)


spookyjacob:

ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

(via grichmob)


durkin62:

watchoutboy:

OH MY GOD WHY, WHY DO YOU DO THIS ON A SITE WITH 13 YEAR OLDS WHO WILL ACTUALLY TRY THIS, STOP

Natural selection.

durkin62:

watchoutboy:

OH MY GOD WHY, WHY DO YOU DO THIS ON A SITE WITH 13 YEAR OLDS WHO WILL ACTUALLY TRY THIS, STOP

Natural selection.

(via heartlessyin)


prostitourettes:

have i ever told you about my brother who lives in back of my head

prostitourettes:

have i ever told you about my brother who lives in back of my head

(via grichmob)


Q
Put on mascara
Anonymous